that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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