Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
