Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
