I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
