I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
