who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize