I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
