I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
