Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
