You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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