And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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