I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize