Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
babies were throwing up all over the place
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
