belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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