i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Do vagina's smell?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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