I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
