i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
