Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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