3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
