High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
