all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
