two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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