Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
