We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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