I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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