i would punch a child for taco bell
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
