I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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