we're blogging at a bar
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize