This is not my ceiling
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
