i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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