dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
