so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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