im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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