Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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