so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
