I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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