As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
