we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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