this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
