At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
