I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
