I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
