Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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