It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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