If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
