I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Holy shit dude........stairs
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
