I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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