I wish I only lived at night.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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