idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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