Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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