i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I cut my penus on the lid.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize