I am in a vortex of obligation.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
