More tranny stories later!
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
