your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
