I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
