this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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