i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
A+ Viking dick
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
