i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I checked into jail on foursquare
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize