So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
