im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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